Prices and How to Register
How much is all this luxury and fun going to cost?
Less than a trip to your cousin’s wedding.
Less than that truly dreadful weekend that your ex-sweetie insisted on.
The price varies a bit because depending on the options you pick, but here’s a ROUGH guide. Remember that there is NO fundraising required for this ride.
You can pick only the pieces of the weekend that you want! Saturday AND Sunday? Saturday only? Transportation? Lodging? It’s all up to you.
Free. We will have optional rides to go get ice cream, and a ride to dinner. You pay for your own food.
Saturday - Farm Ride Day
Saturday Night Dorm Party and Sunday Riding
Your ride fee includes:
Beautiful riding in the country on bike paths and low-traffic roads -- marked routes, route sheets, the best S.A.G. support anywhere... We offer four routes on Saturday: 100 miles, 70 miles, 55 miles and 25 miles.
Light breakfast at the start line on Saturday
Fantastic rest stops on Saturday with too much food.
Optional escorted rides with trained leaders on Saturday
Lovely all-you-can-eat post-ride meal at a local farm on Saturday.
Free hot tub rental at nearby Elements Hot • Tub • Spa (while supply lasts)
Free post-ride massage on Saturday.
Free ice cream stop at Herrel’s -- the best ice cream store in the U.S.
All the ugly stuff you never see ($3 million worth of insurance, permits, UMass’s administrative fees...)
Free outdoor parking for your car at UMass (indoor parking available for $5 per day).
OPTIONS -- buy them only if you wish:
The Saturday Night Dorm Party and Riding on Sunday! After the ride on Saturday is when the REAL fun begins. We’ll have our Saturday Night Dorm Party with beer, margaritas, pizza, more dessert, stupid fun... I think this party is a blast, but if it’s not for you it’s easily avoided.
On Sunday we’ll have start line breakfast -- fresh local fruit, whole grain breads, local pastry, bagels, coffee, granola, milk from cows that live about a half-mile away... We’ll offer several marked routes plus S.A.G. service (bike rescue). An escorted 40-mile ride. A place to stash your luggage and grab a shower if you have to check-out early. Help with boating on the calm and lovely Connecticut River. Free hot tubs while supply lasts until 6 p.m. Sunday.
Price for Post-Ride Saturday AND Sunday Fun: $50 total
Lodging at UMass. (Most cyclists will stay on campus, but we understand that you may have other places to stay off-campus, and that’s fine).
Price: $57 - $199 per night, depending on your choice of accommodations. Details .
Transportation. Some people get themselves to the ride; some take our optional transportation from Manhattan.
We offer two departures from Manhattan:
8:00 a.m. Friday
6:30 p.m. Friday
Your bike travels in our private trucks; you travel by 15-passenger van (except that we don’t put more than 11 people in to a 15-passenger van so you have room to spread out).
Return transportation from The Farm Ride back to Manhattan:
3:00 p.m. Sunday
6:00 p.m. Sunday
Price: $45 each way.
Lovely Farm Ride T-shirts. Why do we charge for T-shirts? Because ours are 100% cotton Haines Beefy T (their top-of-the-line model) and they are lovely, especially compared to that cheesy thing you got at some ride for “free” (English translation of Free T-Shirt: “We raised the price of the ride to cover the T-shirt, so you paid for a shirt whether you wanted it or not.”) THAT “free” shirt from some other ride came with Fred’s Muffler Shop printed on the back, along with 20 other corporate logos! Ours does not. What can I say? We are T-shirt snobs.
Our Incredibly Unfair Refund Policy
Once you register, there are no refunds.
Of any kind.
For ANY reason.
You CAN often get a credit that you can use for another ride. See below.
How to Transfer Your Registration to Another Ride
If it turns out that you can’t make it to the ride for ANY reason, you can often receive a credit from us that you can use for another of our rides. Just as soon as you can and let us know you can't attend the ride.
Your credit will be valid through whatever the last event is that we run in 2016, but after that your credit is GONE and NOTHING can bring it back.
Your credit is not for One Free Ride -- it is for a dollar amount. How much credit will you receive? That has NOTHING to do with the reason WHY you are canceling -- it ONLY depends on how much notice you give us that you can’t make it:
15 Days or More Notice Before Event Day: 100% credit
10-14 Days Notice: 50% credit
5-9 Days Notice: 25% credit
Less than 5 days notice: No credit
We can not provide any credit for the Red Podium on-line registration service fees. Red Podium will not give that money back to us so we can not give it back to you.
Obscure Trivia Note
I’ve been putting on swell rides for more than 20 years now -- it’s my full-time job, and I expect to do this for another 200 years. But if my poor little company ever goes under or I die in a horrible ice-cream-and-pie related accident, all ride credits will have zero value, OK? OK.
A Brief Word About Illness, Accidents, Death, and Cake
We get lots of emails right before the ride: "Even though you state that you have a no-refund policy, I need a refund. I can’t attend the ride because I am terribly ill and I have a note from my doctor to prove it -- would you like a copy of the note?"
No I would not.
We believe you (and your doctor) but it's like this:
Suppose I'm a baker and you order a 10-foot tall cake that states Happy Birthday Melvin on it.
Then something terrible happens. Melvin gets the flu. Melvin gets drunk and cracks a tooth on a coffee table. Melvin drops an Acme-brand anvil on his foot.
We understand why you no longer want the cake.
But since you told me you wanted a cake, I purchased perishable ingredients. I added extra staff. I bought Cake Insurance (OK... just go along with me here...)
I don't need a note from Melvin's doctor.
I believe you.
Fate has dealt you a completely unfair hand for no good reason at all.
But one of us is about to lose the price of the cake, and it's going to be you or me.
And me being the poor and cranky guy I am... it's going to be you. (There must be a MUCH nicer way to say that, but nothing comes to mind just at this moment...)
Now imagine that I have 300 people who EACH order a cake that states Happy Birthday Melvin on it and you get the idea.
Thanks for understanding.
Sell or Give Your Ride Registration to Someone Else
All you need to do to transfer your spot in the ride to another person is give your name to the new rider. The new rider MUST stop by one of our check-in desks, even if you bought the don’t-wait-in-line Express Lane pre-mail service.
Because if they get smooshed by a truck and they are wearing a numbered wristband that our records show belongs to you, we won’t know the difference (because them smooshed and you smooshed look pretty much the same...) and we will call YOUR family and tell them that YOU are DEAD, DEAD, DEAD! (Try explaining THAT ONE at Thanksgiving dinner!)
When the new rider checks in, they simply say, “I’m riding for Jim Smith, but my name is...” They can pick any distance or check-in location, no matter what you specified when you signed up. They get whatever extra-goodies you signed up for -- if you registered for transportation back home, they get it. If you bought a Medium T-shirt, they get a Medium (only) T-shirt.
Some place you can advertise your ride for sale:
Please note that re-selling your ride registration is completely legal, but we do not get involved in any way with these transactions. It is up to you to work out payment with the buyer/seller. Services such as PayPal can be useful here.
Advance registration: Ends on June 8th at noon. (Why do we end registration “early”? We need time to print out all the registration info and make copies so it can be waiting at morning check-in, and that takes serious time!)
Last-Minute Registration: If it’s the last-minute and you want to join us, we’ll find a way. If you are getting to the ride on your own just meet us at UMass -- driving directions to the Deluxe Dorms, which is also where are start/finish line is, are .
If you DO need our transport please -- we’re happy to take you last-minute but we want to make sure that we have a seat for you.